How do I declutter when my partner isn’t on board ?
How do I get my partner to declutter?
What do I do when he tells me he likes me in everything I want to throw away ?
These are all questions I get asked on a regular basis .
It seems that a lot of us “declutterers” and organised people, live with people who will not throw anything away . And talking from experience there’s nothing more frustrating!
So what do we do when we live with someone who just won’t simplify?
Throw away their stuff and hope they don’t notice ?
Nag them consistently untill they comply?
Argue constantly about their clutter ?
Of course none of these are the answer although I bet most of us have tried them in vain ! My favourite decluttering and tidying guru Marie Kondo covers this very subject in her book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying and Spark Joy: An Illustrated Guide to the Japanese Art of Tidying
Her theory is that if we just concentrate on our own “stuff” we will soon realise that other people’s stuff is not the real problem .
So, I tried it and guess what ? It became totally apparent that his stuff was a tiny proportion of the clutter in our house .
Marie guides us through our clutter step by step working through every single possession we own in the following order:
- Then, finally sentimental .
She tells us to pile everything on the bed and hold each item , if it brings you joy you keep it, if it doesn’t , you don’t it’s as simple as that .
I tried this method and became hooked very quickly
- I discarded or donated approx 70 % of my stuff
- I only kept approximately 30% of my original possessions .
- Everything that made it into the 30% of keepers were things I loved and this in turn made me happy .
- With that , came space , clarity, serenity and tidiness .
- Everyone else in the house kept the empty spaces tidy and stopped piling stuff up .
- No one left anything lying around
- People in the house including the kids seemed to start to declutter their items without being asked to.
- Toys only took a few minutes maximum to tidy up each evening before bed.
- Cleaning the house was quicker and easier.
Getting your partner to declutter is simply not the way to tackle things at this stage, start on your stuff, move on to the kids stuff and watch how the whole house seems to get tidier as people notice the empty spaces!
To my surprise I learnt that if I keep my stuff in order everyone else will too!
What do I do when he tells me to keep something I don’t wear because he likes it ?
This is a tricky one and one only you can decide but my rules for this would be to donate if
- It doesn’t fit
- It is uncomfortable in any way.
- It doesn’t make you feel a million dollars
- It is old,worn and generally grotty
- you don’t love it !
I would never tell my spouse what to wear and I wouldn’t expect him to tell me what to wear so its an easy one for me ! Luckily my other half doesn’t notice what goes in and out of my wardrobe so that helps !
If you’d like read more in depth about these decluttering methods you can read how to here.
Another method I love is the Flylady , I love this method because she breaks things down into 31 baby steps and I like bite sized pieces especially when someone is also guiding me when to do something!
Todays favourite products !
- Dettol Original Liquid Antiseptic Disinfectant I use this daily and it is definitely my go to product for keeping the house smelling fresh. Use it in the areas you have decluttered to really give yourself a fresh clean space ready to organise.
- Dyson V8 Animal Cordless Vacuum Cleaner . I love this little machine as it is so easy to use , lightweight and portable with no cord ! It enables me to get into all the little nooks and crannies, it also gives me approx. 40 minutes of cleaning time and doubles up as hand held for the car or the kid’s mess. I find it really powerful and it covers all my decluttering jobs with little effort.
- Dyson Groom Tool attachment for dogs . This is a fantastic product which attaches to most Dyson upright models and grooms your dog as the all hair gets sucked straight up the vacuum! Please note this is not compatible with the cordless Dyson Vacuum cleaner. Let’s keep that freshly decluttered floor free from pet hairs!
- Chilly Bottles Double Walled Reusable Bottle – 18hrs Hot & 24 Cold – 260ml) I wouldn’t be without this little fella, it’s my favourite water bottle and I’ve got it in several colours. It keeps water icy cold for 24 hours and hot drinks hot for 18 hours so it is a really versatile bottle which is a go to in any season. My kids love them . They are great for those of us who are trying to live a more conscious lifestyle as they are stainless steel and save on waste , they are sturdy and will outlive most other plastic bottles. I have found them easy to carry in a bag as they are condensation free. That said , it’s my go to bottle for having at my side to keep me hydrated as I go through my many jobs of the day !
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